I Would So Win in a Geek Fight

Cuz if it involves fantasy weapons and abilities, I'm there.

Dad told me today that I'd be going with him to mingle at this year's Manchester Digital event - Wooh, exciting... exactly. Strangely enough, he mentioned that if a fight broke out, I should just stay out of the way. I was kidn of confused, since as far as I can tell, geeks aren't really the physically confrontation type. We like to hide behind fantasy games like World of Warcraft (Yay!! Me!!) where the only things we need is our fingers (for firing oversized bazukas/brandishing cursed swords/summoning an electrical storm (my specialty^^)) and our razor sharp wit ("Ew a gnome rogue/"DKs are arrogant arsewipes" (is that an ok word?? It's not me who said it anyway)/"Go back to Un'goro/Burning Steppes/Azhara and train you noob" said to me by a noobist XD). So anyway, I asked what exactly does a geek fight involve?? According to my Dad, the basic routine for a geek fight is this:
1: One guy will say something offensive about, say the memory qualities of a type of computer. Obviously, in the world of geek this is definitely a controversial thing to do (like Micheal Jackson going white) and is going to hurt somebody's feelings.
2: The two opponents will start trading insults ("Go and buy a new memory stick, loser!" "Your mum can't even defragment a hard drive!").
3: If the two or more opponents haven't cooled it off by this time, then it gets physical. First, it's time to draw your weapons. Literally. With their trusty pens and paper (or some interactive touch-sensitive mini computer version) they'll draw their weapons in great detail.
4: Now the weapons have been drawn and coloured, it's time to stick it all together. Bring on the Pritt Stick.
5: With their 3D paper rifles, the opponents will take their positions and yell "BOOM!!" at eachother until the weaker one bursts into tears and runs away.

So I think I would win. I can probably manage some good technical drawings of enchanted razor sharp swords, and I'm quite good at sticking things together. Or I could just knock the other person over while they're drawing.

In other events that happened at Manchester Digital, there was a woman with ferrets. Two ferrets. Not one, but two ferrets with leashes co-ordinated with her outfit, weaving in and out of people's feet. How daft is that?? They could have been squashed, or started another plague epidemic or something. There was also various other people, a man who definitely was gay, and a man with an orange T-shirt and the RSS Feeder icon, with the caption 'Well Fed' underneath. I'm sure it's hilarious to those who understand the sohpisticated joke behind it, but apparently when I said it was an incredibly geeky top, I kind of insulted someone who's quite big in the geek industry. He does rollerdiscos too apparently. In America.